Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
