i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
