It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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