he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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