i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think your dad took our porno
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize