She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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