it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
