I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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