Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
