Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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