You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
