I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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