Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
