Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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