when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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