I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
