Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
