we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
