Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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