Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
