There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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