Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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