I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
