There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
