Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
