I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
