I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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