Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
