Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I need a beard to bite.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
