Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
