I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
