I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
