I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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