god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
