my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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