She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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