i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
