Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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