the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
