I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
