I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
