just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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