he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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