...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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