The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
