PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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