Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
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