I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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