the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
