I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I need to calm my uterus...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
