dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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