please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
