i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
