yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
