Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
