I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
