I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
